One of my last posts was about starting to act more lady-like, feminine etc. I feel like this topic could have books written on it as it goes deep. What I am about to say reflect purely my opinions, questions, and beliefs. I would hope all those that are reading this and may not necessarily see eye to eye with me, can respect my beliefs. :) With that being said, this may turn into a multiple posts.
First off I call attention to a popular but insightful quote from Padre Pio Modesty:
“There are, moreover, three virtues which perfect the devout person with regard to control of his own senses. These are: modesty, continence and chastity. By the virtue of modesty the devout person governs all his exterior acts. With good reason, then, does St. Paul recommend this virtue to all and declare how necessary it is and as if this were not enough he considers that this virtue should be obvious to all. By continence the soul exercises restraint over all the senses: sight, touch, taste, smell and hearing. By chastity, a virtue which ennobles our nature and makes it similar to that of the Angels, we suppress our sensuality and detach it from forbidden pleasure.”
As women, we have many duties. One of those is to remain modest in many forms; attire, speech, the way we present ourselves etc. One may ask why do I such an emphasis on clothing; isn't that being immodest, as I am focusing on worldly goods? This was one of my questions before I started researching and putting any focus on modesty. My motto was “God loves me in sweatpants or a dress”. Yes, God DOES love me but that doesn't mean that I am being respectful or accurately following my duty.
Here are the pros of dressing modestly feminine;
· Being respectful of the Lord and his design and plan for us.
· Respecting your husband/fiance.
· Being a model for other women.
· Not drawing attention to one’s self, negatively.
· Showing that you are a women, and proud of it!
· Many, many more.
Cons to dressing modestly…
- I don’t see any cons to dressing modestly feminine; however I had many questions before my journey, both spiritual and physical.
- I live on a farm, how is it possible to dress both modestly , and feminine when I am knee deep in manure, or dirt and it is VERY hot out?
- Does it really matter what I wear at home when doing chores… I am going to get dirty anyway!
- I don’t have the money to go out any buy a whole new wardrobe.
- I don’t want to look frumpy, I want to look modern.
- Probably many more excuses that I came up with.
The answers didn't come quick, but with lots of research through prayer, the internet and other ladies that I looked up too.
Some quick answers to these ( at least for me. I do not have all the answers for myself, let alone anyone else haha.)
I live on a farm, how is it possible to dress both modestly, and feminine when I am knee deep in manure, or dirt and it is VERY hot out?
This is still a struggle at times, especially with our growing live stock and temperatures. I tend to stick to cotton and flowy. Skirts and shirts that are used and are okay to get dirty. I call these my barn clothes and they have their own special drawer. I specifically go to these when doing chores. However, I do not risk modesty when I am in them. These are either older clothing items or items that I found for an awesome price at a thrift store. Leggings underneath also help with insects etc.
Does it really matter what I wear at home when doing chores… I am going to get dirty anyway!
Dressing modestly and femininely does not mean necessarily that you should put on your best outfits, decked out with accessories and heels, all of the time. As mentioned above I have a special drawer reserved for my “worse” clothes that I wear when I go to the barn, or I am baking (An apron doesn't hurt as well!). I think the way you dress can impact the way you feel at times, so dressing up nicer can make you feel better. I know when I dress a little more girly, I feel a little better and gives me a little more pep in my step!
I don’t have the money to go out any buy a whole new wardrobe.
A whole new wardrobe WOULD be expensive. I found a way around this! Goodwill and other thrift stores offer a variety of used clothing. Do use discretion. Some clothing may not be worth the price. Investing in a few basic pieces such as undershirts/layering shirts and, a few solid t shirts that can go with anything, a few solid skirts can be important. I find sales at KOHLS, Dress Barn, and as mentioned before Goodwill. Goodwill is another place to experiment with odd patterns, as you don’t feel so bad because you don’t spend to much on it and if you don’t like the pattern or fabric, you can pass it on or return it!
Also, many of your clothing already can be turned into a modest piece! A neckline to low? Take a tank top underneath, add a scarf or both. Sleeve to short? Cardigans or light jackets can be your best friend!
I don’t want to look frumpy, I want to look modern.
Many stores, especially this year seem to have long skirts. They are back in style, hurray! Dressing modestly and femininely doesn’t mean jumping into a jean jumper, although if that is your thing, go for it! You can still have style. Add a fun accessory to personalize your outfit, adding “in style” pieces such as scarf (which is awesome for low neck lines) or a headband can make your outfit “more with the times”.
I am sorry that this has become a very long post. I feel like there is much more to say, but that will be saved for later times.
Remember, outside appearance is not the most important thing. This isn't your “entrance” into heaven. This for me is a serious issue that I feel compelled to write and research about, as a young Catholic woman. I think that standards in our society have fallen. If you feel compelled to start a journey of modesty I encourage you, and do not mind if you contact me. I do however, think that any important decision such as this one, should be contemplated through prayer and Adoration.